After a mixed year, blemished by the failures of Caprica and Stargate: Universe, but lifted by late releases Being Human and Face Off, Syfy (or is that SyFy? SYFY? God, why can’t they go back to just Sci-Fi…) has announced their largest original programming release in their history, including fourteen new kinda original shows and over 100 hours of TV movies, according to Deadline.
Though most of the new shows seem like TLC reality castaways (Culture Shock with Tommy Lee! Dinner with Deepak [Chopra]!), a couple of the scripted shows might have promise. In particular, Three Inches, a comedy produced and written by Harley Peyton (Less Than Zero, Twin Peaks) about a man who gains the ability to move objects with his mind, but only by three inches, seems exciting, though truth be told, Peyton was partly responsible for both the disappointing second season of Twin Peaks and the 2001 Bruce Willis/Billy Bob Thornton mediocrity Bandits. For the geek crowd, yet another iteration of Battlestar Galactica is on the way, creatively titled Galactica. Hopefully we’ll get some deep contemplation about what it means to be human without the disappointment of a bullshit cop-out ending about how it was Earth all along.
Having covered the interests of obsessive nerds with their scripted programming, Syfy has dedicated their “Saturday Original Movies” to their other prime demographic: 30-something stoners. Clearly the pearl of the slate is The Asylum’s (Megashark vs. Giant Octopus, a bunch of other shit) Bigfoot, starring Danny Bonaduce and Barry Williams. This writer, however, only has eyes for After Dark Films’ Dungeons and Dragons 4, presumably the sequel to the majestic 2000 hit Dungeons and Dragons. Hopefully, Jeremy Irons and Thora Birch will reunite with Marlan Wayans and the kid from Child’s Play 3 for this masterpiece. Think about that for a second. The cast of Dungeons and Dragons, a movie with a jaw-dropping 14 rating from Metacritic and 10% from Rotten Tomatoes, featured an Oscar-winner, a Golden Globe nominee, an Emmy winner, and a Wayans brother. What a world.
Oh, and they’re making a Jersey Shore knock-off with sharks.