If you are a sadistic, blood-thirsty police officer out to punish (what you consider to be) evildoers (read: minorities) with no regard to civil rights or due process, no problem. Just don't go telling anyone about it online.
As a prolific poster of much-enjoyed (and modest!) Facebook status updates, I thought I would provide some helpul hints for you so that my news feed is more interesting to read. This first feature provides tips for posting content that gives the impression that you are hip on Internet trends instead exposing how painfully unaware you are that there is an internet beyond Facebook and the Food Network Online.
Yesterday was opening day for Major League Baseball and regardless of how little you care about it, I'm sure you were aware of it. It's pretty much impossible for me to sufficiently prepare myself for baseball season and the relentless volley of inane tweets and status updates. By the time they subside, the weather will have turned and the other seasonal depression will have set in.
I have chosen the wrong career. If Facebook status updates are any indication as to how I ought to live my life (and really what could offer more sage advice?), then I should have chosen to be a real estate agent in New York or San Francisco. Or both.
Several times a week my news feed announces that an apartment is available, an awesome apartment, or that someone needs a sublet. Pronto. But Facebook status updates are ephemeral and I'm not a real estate agent who cares to remember how many square feet you need to live. By the time it occurs to me that two statuses are related, I've forgotten who needs what and when they need it. And I've probably already defriended both of you.
