Reviews

There's nothing wrong with Angry Birds. It's a well-designed, highly addictive game that is simple and intuitive enough to appeal to the masses. Bravo, Rovio. Golf clap.

Problem is, the Angry Birds machine is out of control, sucking limited consumer dollars away from other, equally deserving independent game developers. You want to know how the developers came up with the locale for their latest release, Angry Birds Rio? They all probably vacationed there during the cold Nordic winter. Rovio's gotten its millions -- it doesn't need any more.

Full disclosure: I am over thirty and have read all of the Twilight books. And have seen all three movies, all on opening night. You might even say that I’m a Twihard.

Do I like the Twilight franchise? Sort of. I mean, I like them despite the quality of the writing, the plotting, the troublesome messages it sends to young women about creepy assholes, nonconsensual kissing, a man as guardian of a horny teenager’s virginity, and, oh, a guy oiling your window so it won’t squeak when he creeps in to watch you sleep at night. I mean, I like the books about as much as I can like a book involving a crazy half-vampire fetus that has to be chewed out of her mother’s uterus by the vampire babydaddy’s sharp vampire teeth (because in the vampire world of rock-paper-scissors, only vampire teeth cuts vampire amniotic sac and NO I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP).